Information following an early or mid-term pregnancy loss

Information for parents from Women's Health

We apologise if this leaflet reaches you at an inappropriate time for you and your family. We are aware that no two people react in quite the same way to this kind of loss. Some may see it as the loss of a few cells, others as nature taking its course, whilst others may see it as losing a baby. We appreciate and respect all views and because of this, treat all losses with respect.

To help answer some of your questions as to what happens next, we have produced this leaflet. It explains:

What happens following an early pregnancy loss? (up to 15 weeks and 6 days gestation)

Unless the mother tells us otherwise, all early pregnancy losses will receive a communal cremation. This involves individual losses being cremated together at Thanet Crematorium on the last Thursday of each month*. Each individual loss is identified personally.

If you wish to attend the service, please contact the Chaplaincy Office to find out which month your loss will be included. The Chaplaincy Office contact numbers are listed at the end of this leaflet.

Please note that following the communal cremation, ashes are not returned to parents. Ashes are scattered in the Baby and Child area of St John’s Cemetery (next to Thanet Crematorium).

It is your personal choice whether you attend this ceremony. You will be supported in whatever you decide to do. More information about this simple, confidential, and respectful service is available from the hospital chaplains. The Chaplaincy Office contact numbers are listed at the end of this leaflet.

If for religious, cultural, or any other reason you are unhappy with these arrangements, you will need to contact the Chaplaincy office within 2 weeks of your loss. The chaplains will be pleased to discuss other options available at no cost to you and your family.

*Should this fall on a public holiday, the ceremony will normally take place on the last working day before at the same time and place. We recommend that you confirm this with the hospital chaplains.

Please note that very early miscarriages are sometimes difficult to identify, either visually or by scientific investigation. Therefore, in some rare cases, the loss may not be included in the communal ceremony. This does not prevent you or your family attending the service as part of your grieving process.

What happens following a mid-term pregnancy loss? (16 to 23 weeks and 6 days gestation)

Parents may choose:

You will need to complete and sign certain paperwork, so we can proceed with the arrangements.

Your baby will be included with the early losses in the monthly communal cremation ceremony, if you:

Parents may, of course, make their own private arrangements and would need to sign certain documents saying that this is their wish. In such cases, families will be expected to meet all the financial costs involved.

You are strongly advised to contact the hospital chaplains around 2 weeks after your loss, if you have:

This is because the investigations may still be awaiting completion, and your baby may have to be included in a later ceremony.

*The communal cremation ceremony is held on the last Thursday of the month at Thanet Crematorium. Please note that following the communal cremation, ashes are not returned to parents. Ashes are scattered in the Baby and Child area of St John’s Cemetery (next to Thanet Crematorium).

If you wish to attend the service, please contact the Chaplaincy Office to find out which month your loss will be included. The Chaplaincy Office contact numbers are listed at the end of this leaflet.

*Should this fall on a public holiday, the ceremony will normally take place on the last working day before at the same time and place. We recommend that you confirm this with the hospital chaplains.

Will there be any cost involved?

If the hospital is making the arrangements, the Trust will cover all basic costs of a cremation or burial.

If you wish, you are welcome to make your own private arrangements, and

These costs would have to be met by the family.

What about memorial books and services?

There are memorial books in the chapels of our hospitals in Ashford, Canterbury, and Margate. If you would like your baby’s name entered, please contact one of the Chaplaincy Offices. There is no charge for this service.

In addition, we hold an annual baby memorial event. Many parents have found this to be both a healing and helpful experience. If you would like us to contact you with details of this event, please let your nurse, midwife, or doctor know. Alternatively you can contact the Chaplaincy Office using the contact details listed below.

Helping us to help others

We hope this leaflet has been helpful and reassuring to you at this difficult time. It is a painful and sensitive subject to raise with parents and families who can be experiencing a wide variety of feelings and emotions. We are always looking to improve the care we give to parents and families like yourselves, no matter how and at what stage the pregnancy ended. We welcome any comments - positive or negative - that you may have on the help and support we have offered during your time of loss. We wish you well for the future and assure you of our continuing care and concern.

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